Melting Waking Dream

I could smell the fabric softener on his cotton shirt. For some reason, I know it's a white T shirt, even though my eyes are closed and I can't see anything. I can feel my face press against the soft cotton, tucking my cheek into that little space between his chest muscles.

He must be about 6' tall given where my head hits his chest. His arms are strong and wrap around my back in a gentle, firm hold. And I keep smelling the shirt mixed with the smell of him. Not musky, not describable, but just the smell that tells my brain it is OK to relax and let THIS person hold me for a minute.

His left hand strokes my hair every so often while his right rubs my back lightly....alternating squeezes.

He's comforting me for some reason. Am I crying? Who is this guy? I'm relatively sure that no one this tall has EVER held me like this. So this can't be from memory, and I don't know anyone...hmmmm. Curious.

Why do I feel like I could melt into those arms and crawl right into that little space where my cheek is resting. He sighs, I take a deep, long breath. Then a teeny contented sigh.

When I try to break away, he pulls me closer. Yep, this is that melting feeling again. Of totally losing yourself in the safety of another's arms. There goes the hand back to the hair. When his palm sort of cradles my head in that spot right below the base of my skull where my spine starts, I tingle. He rubs is fingers around just a little. He plays with my hair.

There is nothing else in this waking dream but the sounds of our breathing. I guess I'm not crying...at least not anymore. But I can smell him, his shirt, I can feel his arms and his back...

I can feel my arms actually start to ache a little because they're jealous of this, they want to return the hug. It wakes me a bit and I roll over.

I guess I dozed back to sleep in this warm cuddly haze because later, he was lying down, and I was nestled in that space by his shoulder this time. Same smells, same feeling, same sounds, except I was rested and content this time. Just melting.

Even though I'm in bathed in the fluorescent brightness of my office, and can smell what someone just burnt in the toaster oven, I can close my eyes, take a deep breath and still smell him and go right back into that dream a little bit.

This was probably inspired by something from last night's kickball game. My shirt smelled really clean and right after thinking that, I looked at the next field and a guy was hugging a girl. I just remember thinking that that was really nice. I bet that's where this came from. And it bubbled in my sub-conscious all night.

I wonder if a little part of me doesn't want to forget what that kind of closeness feels like. It's a nice little movie I'm probably going to play in my head all day. {sigh}