Thursday, May 10, 2007

Indecent Proposal

Last night after kickball, it was drink time. I look forward to drink time.

As always Buck Nekkid led the conversation with a thought provoking question. He asked the men, 'How much money would someone have to pay you to have anal sex?'

For clarification he added, 'Catching only'.

Well, after we got done laughing at the thought, there was great debate amongst the men. Buck apparently would go pretty cheaply at about $450, while some others were talking at least a million.

I, for once kept quiet. I'm sure I had that quiet, pensive look on my face and my right pointer finger rubbed its way across my bottom lip. Buck is the only person who seems to recognize that far off glaze in my eye and the finger move as my thinking pose.

The conversation continued with debate about what size you'd let in and how long it could last, etc. Naturally, the next discussion was oral. How much would convince you to give someone oral?

Almost everyone (ladies included) agreed that oral is much more intimate and would clearly command a bigger bounty. Those who disagreed debated, and we laughed our asses off.

My personal answer was, 'Whatever the market will bear....' I want to get a ridiculous amount of money for as little work as possible.

Of course, I was still thinking. What could I do that would be enough to take away my short term money stress and yet leave me with my dignity, health and reputation? HMMMM?

So, I think I'm going to look for a short-term sugar daddy. I was a sugar momma for years, but I did a terrible job. I'd even planned to sell my eggs to a fertility clinic until I was told I wasn't a good candidate (@$5k a pop, i could have quickly made a dent in my student loans).

So, what's left? A selling a kidney (which would totally eff up my triathlon plans) or whoring myself out. 'Cause being a barista at Starbucks isn't going to pay enough quickly enough.

{Note to Mom: No, I'm not going to sell myself. But it is an interesting business proposition.}

6 comments:

g-man said...

Thanks for the mental images :) I know!!! You could always pimp your mom.

Buck Nekkid said...

Let the record show I would catch for $450K.....not $450.

TxGambit said...

Ummm, now I'm thinking.

Sizzle said...

i have clearly been selling myself and my services short. must rethink plan!

Indiana said...

The age old question, how much woudl it cost to compromise someone's principles or move someones's standards...do we all actually have a price?

Esmerelda said...

GMAN {GAG}
Buck Apologies...somehow I missed the zero's. Thank GOD I couldn't possibly afford you!
Gambit SEEE??
Sizz I think hte market would bear a lot for you SUGAR!
Indiana my standards are already on a sliding scale, principles maybe not. But I'd seriously think about any offer that left me debt free.