Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Tribute to the Maven

I get some of my best thinking done while I'm swimming these days. Today I started thinking about who would be the perfect person to be by my side for my first triathlon. I've been saying that I need two, maybe three. One to pick up the remnants of my bike after I wreck, one to hold my hand in the ambulance and one to kiss me at the finish line. I've let go of the last one, but I really think the 1st two are important.

It would have to be someone who is supportive and wouldn't even by accident make a comment that will deflate my somewhat tentative confidence. They need to think quickly and see what I need before I need it, and yet not afraid to 'manage me' when I get defensive, indignant and otherwise bitchy. It absolutely has to be someone who isn't going to hate me later. Someone whose mere presence would motivate me, and always have the right thing to do or say.

As I was swimming along...I was thinking those requirements fit the person I needed by my side when I was going to have my first baby. While I loved STBX, motivation isn't his strength, and let's face it, if I growled, I wasn't sure how he'd react. (in the end he was my absolute savior with breastfeeding so he gets points)

Of course, I chose Maven. She's one of those kinds of friends. Actually a one of a kind friend. Never over does it so much that you feel indebted to her, let's you do just enough that you feel like it's all even. She has saved my ass over the years in soooo many ways.

And I have failed miserably as a friend.

Her birthday was last week. Our schedules kept us apart, and I couldn't seem to find the most truly special thing I could to let her know how important she is to me (oh my God I'm misting). So I sent her a list of options. SHOULDN'T I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS? WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY FRIEND AM I GIVING HER WORK LIKE THAT!! Then, I had house guests and a crammed schedule. And isn't it just like me not to check in on my favorite family? I found out Monday that she had been sick. I should have taken the time to bring chicken soup, but instead I played mini-golf.

So anyway, this is the blog post I SHOULD have written in honor of her birthday.

Maven is the friend who:
  • makes you dessert when you feel like your world will never be the same
  • stands back and lets you make a teeny fool of yourself because she knows that's the only way your gonna learn--- and gently makes sure you don't go overboard
  • shares a ton of secrets and jokes
  • saves my ass at work regularly by keeping me in the loop on stuff I don't get to see from the ivory tower
  • is my children's 'Safe Side Adult' and I absolutely trust her implicitly with their care and welfare
  • amazingly loves me no matter what I do or say
  • wanted to be my friend at a time when not many people wanted to hang with STBX and I
  • introduced me to a whole community of people that love me for me
  • shows me by example how to balance being a woman and a professional and a mother
  • shares her home, her food, her children, and yes, her husband-- willingly and with an open heart
  • thinks about how fantastic your sassy new hair cut is while she can't seem to sleep at night
  • brings you a dress she loves from her own closet because she thinks it will fit you perfectly
  • is always adapting and changing and growing in the most amazing ways
  • even though we don't agree on everything provides an easy sort of friendship-- without the drama
  • brings the bourbon slushies to every event
  • I could keep going for hours

So, happy belated birthday Maven. Thanks for everything.

(if you must comment, please comment on her blog-- send her the love!!)


g-man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
heatherzg@gmail.com said...

Well gheesh, what does one say to *that*? Thanks Es, Lord knows you've done the same for me. No worries on the birthday, the last few weeks have been hell. We'll eventually have girl time.

g-man said...

A lovely sentiment to your fiend. That's why we love you too.

Builder Mama said...

She does totally rock, doesn't she?

Loved your post. I know she thinks a lot of you too!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Jesus, I totally cried.

yerdoingitwrong said...

What a wonderful tribute. I want to live closer to you guys!!! You sound like FUN!

Anyone who brings bourbon slushies to every event would be a friend of mine. =)