Things Brit and I have in common

Let's all just say we're surprised by Brit' and KFed's divorce-- not. Generally, I really don't care much for her or what she does.

But when I read some of the very funny press about it, I often chuckle to myself about how much Brit and I have in common these days. One of them said something about how she flicked him off like a dried booger from her collar. I was in stitches!

She supported her husband until he had his chance at a paying job, and her two baby boys. He thanked her for her generosity by partying with others.

Odd parallels, Brit and I-- except for the bank account and personal trainer-- I bet my boobs are bigger and (with practice) I'd like to think I could sing better, too.

The Healthcare Crisis

Now, don't think, in light of the election that I'm going to get all political.

One of my jobs is to make sure that our HR system runs smoothly. One of my other jobs is to communicate. That said, I spend two months a year reminding people that they're going to have to make benefit choices, two weeks a year actually begging them to do it, two weeks a year listening to every lame ass excuse under the sun about why THAT two week period just didn't work for them while simultaneously trying to make the data do exactly what I want.

We are officially in the latter two weeks. Aside from the 'I was on vacation on the moon without hope of Internet access, and I didn't know it was open enrollment because I was in a coma and all of your e-mail goes to my SPAM folder' excuses, I fight with the system. The vendor makes upgrades and you have to change your approach every year. I have mastered playing in the test database.

Given all that has been going on, I've begun again collecting meaningful quotes, and lots of folks are sending them to me.

Early this week, I got this gem:

"The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live your heart's desire."

-Oprah Winfrey

So I wrote it on a sticky on my monitor and read it every day.

Today, because it is handwritten, I unconsciously read:

"The only coverage you will ever need is the coverage to live your heart's desire...."

Totally insane, right? How could I mistake a 'u' for a 'v' ? Is my heart's desire to jump from an airplane or something? Am I just over this whole benefits thing? YOU BETCHA!

So, actually, there were two quotes I got yesterday from my old friend, TEEK:

This one smacked me right between the eyes:

"Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge."

...and if anyone cares to recommend a pill or a class or a course of action to help me kick that dependency, I could soooo use it right now.

...then this one....

Another Chance

Helen Steiner Rice

How often we wish for another chance

to make a fresh beginning.

A chance to blot out our mistakes

And change failure into winning.

It does not take a new day

To make a brand new start,

It only takes a deep desire

To try with all our heart.

To live a little better

And to always be forgiving

And to add a little sunshine

To the world in which we're living.

So never give up in despair

And think that you are through,

For there's always a tomorrow

And the hope of starting new.

Giving up has never and will never be an option for me, but these days, I'm having trouble finding the sunshine. For no specific reason. Can't figure it out.

Because if you can't have the Boobies you might as well have hair

Tippytornado and I took a shower this morning. Generally pretty benign conversation:

"No wash my hair!"
"You need to have the chocolate removed"
"No wash my hair! My eyes! Soap! Soap!"

You get the picture.

So, I'm toweling off and the questions begin:

"Why you use two towels?"
"Because I have long hair. You don't so you can use just your Nemo towel"
"Your hair is big?"
"Yes my hair is big."
"Your boobies are big."
"Yes, they are."
"My boobies are little."
"Yes, you are a little boy and little boys don't have boobies like mommys do."
"I have big boobies when I grow bigger."
"Only girls have big boobies, you're a boy and you'll never have big boobies."

In my head, of course I'm praying-- Please God don't let him ever have boobies either by fat or surgery.

"(little red haired boy from daycare)* has little boobies."
"Yep. He's a boy."
"Gigglychatterbox* has little boobies and she a girl."

In my head - Oh crap.

"Little girls have little boobies but when they grow big they grow big boobies."

Tippytornado thoughtfully pauses while I carry him to the bed to dress him.

"When I bigger, I have long hair."

Long hair or boobies? HMMMMM. Which would I prefer my son to have????

*Duh! names changed to protect the innocent!

The Silence is Deafening

While for years I craved alone time in my house, to clean, to get things in order-- there is actually a point where I can clean no more.

I can watch movies and crochet scarves for needy children.

I can go to the museums in downtown DC and check out the art work that I've been dying to see.

I can finally go to The Edgar Allen Poe house in Baltimore.

I can't focus on finding a partner because there are 328 more days until I'm free. I can't be the valedictorian of healing unless I use this 328 days wisely. I'm so lucky to have very wise, kind people in my life to remind me of my value and the value of those 328 days. If the Maven and GMan can find each other, there must be hope for me.

On the flip side, Angry Man has stopped attacking me verbally. We actually got along quite well at Karateboy's competition on Saturday. Karateboy won 2nd place in forms and 3rd place in breaking. We're all very proud-- and last night was the first night he slept without the trophies.

As for Angry Man, either he's finally putting his head on straight or he's mounting an attack. I know he's questioning everything we ever had in our relationship, and it is really sad to see him take the good memories and ruin them. I also heard that there might be a special someone in his life. I hope someone wise tells him about the 328 days of healing before he has to learn the hard way--- like I did.

Pictures

OK GMAN...you want it, you got it. I just couldn't get a good picture of my mother as Mickey Mouse, though. But I think I have to try tonight.