While for years I craved alone time in my house, to clean, to get things in order-- there is actually a point where I can clean no more.
I can watch movies and crochet scarves for needy children.
I can go to the museums in downtown DC and check out the art work that I've been dying to see.
I can finally go to The Edgar Allen Poe house in Baltimore.
I can't focus on finding a partner because there are 328 more days until I'm free. I can't be the valedictorian of healing unless I use this 328 days wisely. I'm so lucky to have very wise, kind people in my life to remind me of my value and the value of those 328 days. If the Maven and GMan can find each other, there must be hope for me.
On the flip side, Angry Man has stopped attacking me verbally. We actually got along quite well at Karateboy's competition on Saturday. Karateboy won 2nd place in forms and 3rd place in breaking. We're all very proud-- and last night was the first night he slept without the trophies.
As for Angry Man, either he's finally putting his head on straight or he's mounting an attack. I know he's questioning everything we ever had in our relationship, and it is really sad to see him take the good memories and ruin them. I also heard that there might be a special someone in his life. I hope someone wise tells him about the 328 days of healing before he has to learn the hard way--- like I did.
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4 comments:
Well you can always come and clean my house :) I'm glad you have a plan, I think that we men heal differently, but I'm sure he will be taking his time.
We need to make a date to see the EA Poe house!!!!! 328 days seems like a long time, but at a day at a time, the healing will come. I pray Angry Man finds that healing as well.
Love ya!
With Tippytornado and karatekid around those days are going to fly!!
No, I haven't found someone special. I meet someone who had the same thing done to her, just a little different. He traveled a lot and had been for several years, she thought everything was fine, then one day he come home and said he wanted a divorce. Durning his travels he separated himself from her, and over time worked through all his griving or feelings of lost, that it left her having to work through everyting by herself with no one to answer her questions. Basicly the same thing STBJM did to me. I don't have any good memories of our relationship, all I remember is doing what you wanted, always giving up a little more of myself every day trying to keep you happy so I didn't have to fight with you. I miss the family I had but with all the thing you have so over the years and recently to make he the bad gut in this, has put a real bad taste in my mouth, that I will never be able to forgive you for being a quitter and giving up on your family, and as I have said you "now" are not the person I loved, and I would not and will not ever go back to you. And as for mounting an attack, I don't have time or anyting to say to quitters. If you want more to read see my page.
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