The Yardstick

I'm an odd mix of someone who likes to be a dreamy hopless romantic who flings caution to the wind combined with someone who has a minor obsession for Excel spreadsheets and making firm, quantified decisions.

I'm sure the latter is a backlash behavior since the first one hasn't quite served me so well (especially the romantic notion that brought me here).

So, I propose a rating system so that I can reconcile my head, my heart and my over-active libido.

For example, they'll earn 5 points for every $10,000 a year they make more than me. Own their own completely livable single family home? Plus 25 points. If they live with their parents/exwife/sibling's family/children -25 points.

For every inch their belly hangs over their belt -3 points. They earn one point for each time they visit a salon in a given year.

Insist on walking me to my car in a dark parking lot (and not just to cop a feel?) or drop me off at the door in the rain? Plus 10.

Since all is fair in love and war-- frizzy hair, baby related stretch marks, and flabby upper arms score a '0' because then we're equals.

For fun, we'll measure folks we know or fantasize about against the yardstick.

Please feel free to propose your own--I'm sure someone has done this before!