Don't make me do it!

Ya'll done lost yer minds. Don't make me turn on COMMENT MODERATION! Do you know what that means? That would mean that I'd have to read each of your comments and decide if I want to publish them. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THAT KIND OF BABYSITTING?

This was a place to keep my friends up to date on my status, without having to repeat myself. It is an outlet for me of what I feel at that moment. For those of you who know me, that is subject to change the very next moment.

I felt very violated when Eyore found out about this blog. It was a somewhat private diary that I was sharing with my friends. It has become an outlet for much more, and the support that you, my peeps, my sistas, have given me is worth all the tea in the east.

HOWEVER, Eyore is hurt. For the sake of my children, he needs your compassion.

While I have had 2 1/2 years to come to terms with the idea that my marriage was over, he's just getting there. To hear someone say they don't want you is the worst sound to hear. He's not dealing with it well, and I'm doing the best I can to protect my spirit.

I told my wise counselor yesterday that I felt like a tree trying to stretch its limbs and each time Eyore picked at me a bit of bark was ripped off. That is the truest of true analogies.

We've got to sort this out and both face a whole new reality. It will be easier for us both to move forward if the crap stops. I think the posts over the last few days have been a clear picture of the fine line between love and hate for Eyore. The end of our marriage was not fireworks or an explosion but a smoldering fire that just pooped out. I chose not to work on it anymore because nothing seemed to work and he didn't see that anything was wrong and felt powerless to change it. I'm one intimidating bitch, but I have a very squishy heart. Which is why it has taken 13+ years to get my ass in gear on this.

Please have some compassion for the man that I used to love and who my children love deeply. He's broke and grieving and needs to heal. He promises to lay off my family....because I can be a whole lot more harsh about his. But I haven't mentioned them at all. I know that when I'm in need, my family and friends surround and carry me (thank you very much) and he doesn't have that. He's pretty darn alone. Feel compassionate about that.

Blessings and Peace to you all. I said PEACE!!

(you have to admit, that if you know me, the comment about 'put that in spreadsheet and smoke it' was very funny and witty and quite appropriate for me!)