This is a place to share my thoughts and feelings with my friends. So I don't have to repeat myself 1000 times. So I don't spend hours on the phone or e-mail. So I can focus on healing and my kids. I make no apologies for how I feel. It is what it is. There was never an intent to hurt Eyore, but instead explore why things are so bad and why we can't seem to break up. Ever. This isn't the first time.
Eyore has obviously loved me unconditionally....look how hard it is for him to let me go. Any other man would have walked away a long time ago. I'm not sure that's healthy.
Eyore wants a year to grow up. He says that if I give him a year I can make up my mind then and either get a divorce or get back together. He doesn't understand why I'm afraid. I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I'm scared and I'm sad. My natural instincts are not accurate or appropriate. I'm second guessing myself at every turn. That's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll fall for all this mushy crap and take him back to stop the freakin' pain.
The kids and I are in a safe place this weekend where we can rejuvenate. Thanks for all of your help and thoughts today.
Oh! Do you want to see Eyore's blog? I'm all about equal time: http://thisiseyore.blogspot.com .
Join the fray and comment. He says he doesn't have it published just yet, but I'm hoping that he'll get it up soon.
1 comment:
This_is_Eyore
I have never hit her or done anything to physically harm her, in the 15 years we have been together. what I have not done is respect her as a wife and a woman. So when on my way home from work yesterday, I heard on the radio how the Amish ask the press to give them some respect when they buried the 4 of the 5 girls. Having been from PA, I know that what happened to them is not so much as an every day thing, as it is for us out here. You don't hear that they buried an Amish child because they were hit by a drunk driver, shot in some gang relayed activity. So upon hear that I realized I have not respected STBJM's wishes to be cemated. And as most have read I have been tring to do what I haven't for the past couple of years. I asked her if there was a special place she would want her ashes spread. I am not off my rocker and would not do anything to hurt or harm her. I was just trying to respect her wish.
I love my wife more than she could ever know, because I never showed her the respect a wife deserves to let her know how much I love her. Yes, I am a ass for not doing that, but I will from now on respect her as a woman should. Because she is beautiful, smart, caring and giving, and my world.
I'm sorry I have hurt you so.
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