He apologized again this morning (which carries little weight because I'm so freakin' tired). I was up past two wondering if I was over reacting or if I was ignoring obvious signs. So I called 'The Company' EAP. Since he has no history of violent behavior, the counselor said I shouldn't be concerned, but that I should be careful.
I think I need to consistently remind him that for every time I did something that he finds so appalling he needs to tell everyone (like embarrass him in front of others) there were 100 other times that I was supportive, and encouraging and loving. I was young and inexperienced and didn't have a whole lot to work with. All I wanted was for him to be an adult.
He's an ass, and doesn't realize that this isn't just a stunt. He seems to fish every day for some glimmer of hope that we'd get back together. This morning his message was, "All I want is for us to be together."
Last night, he went from helping me in the basement and feeling the need to tell me that when he saw me in my undershorts what he wanted to do to me (in explicit detail) despite the fact that I asked him to stop repeatedly--- to telling me he doesn't care who I f*&k. It's like he's Jeykl and Hyde, and doesn't understand why I'm being guarded.
F'ed up is right....it feels surreal.
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